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American English: Wazzup dude, fucking fucked fuck ya?

British English: Good morning, sir. I realy beg your pardon for interrupting you for such an unreasonable purpose but I'm afraid, if of course it won't bore you for too long, that some last news that I have unfortunately recived make me ask you whether you had an unlucky chanse to get yourself overwhelmed by some, I believe, nessesary but still very uncomfortable for me way? I realy apologise once more if it was not polite enough to ask you as straightforwardly as I did. For I wish to make amends for this situation, I would be glad to see you at my castle in five o'clock tomorrow fot a cup of brilliant indian tea. God save the queen!