Первоапрельская "Копипаста".⁠⁠

var M = [], H = '',
peer = location.href.substr(location.href.indexOf('sel=') + 4),
im_table = document.getElementById('im_rows' + peer);
im_table.innerHTML = '';
function load_history(part)
{
if (part === 0) var offset = 0;
if (part === 1) var offset = 30;
if (part > 1) var offset = 30 + 100 * (part - 1);
ajax.post('al_im.php', {
act: 'a_history',
peer: peer, // id собеседника
offset: offset,
al: 1,
rev: 0,
whole: 0
}, {
//showProgress: addClass.pbind(moreEl, 'im_more_loading'),
//hideProgress: removeClass.pbind(moreEl, 'im_more_loading'),
onDone: function(html, msgs, all_shown, cnts, data) {
im_table.innerHTML = html;
H = html + '<hr>' + H;
var im_rows = im_table.getElementsByTagName('tr');
var row_pack = [];
var cnt_rows = 0;

each(im_rows, function ()
{
var row_class = this.getAttribute('class');
if (!row_class) return;

if (row_class.indexOf('im_in') >= 0) var msg_target = 'in';
else if (row_class.indexOf('im_out') >= 0) var msg_target = 'out';
if (!msg_target) return;

var msg_id = this.getAttribute('id').substr(4);
row_pack.push({
id: msg_id,
target: msg_target,
date: document.getElementById('im_date' + msg_id).value|0,
text: this.getElementsByClassName('im_msg_text')[0].innerHTML
});

cnt_rows++
});
M = row_pack.concat(M);
console.log('Загружено сообщений: ' + row_pack.length);
if (!all_shown) load_history(part+1);
else
{
console.log('finish.');
im_table.innerHTML = H;
var lasttime = 0, cnt_in = 0, cnt_out = 0, first_in = 0, first_out = 0;
each(M, function ()
{
if (!lasttime || this.date > lasttime + (60 * 60)) {
//console.log(this.target, this.text);
if (this.target === 'in') first_in++
else first_out++
}

if (this.target === 'in') cnt_in++
else cnt_out++

lasttime = this.date;
});
console.log("Всего сообщений: " + M.length +
",\nОтправлено: " + cnt_out +
",\nПолучено: " + cnt_in +
",\nПервым написал я: " + first_out +
",\nПервым написали мне: " + first_in);
}
},
onFail: function() {
console.log('ERROR', arguments);
}
});
}
load_history(0);

http://cs619629.vk.me/v619629708/249a/Jf2NcNZm6mc.jpg

Да мне никто не поверит!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kCbe6N16sk